Who Left These Goddamn Delicious Cookies on My Desk?

An older article from Bill Simmons that seems relevant to the fake-memoir discussion. Plus, he talks about The Wire.

Enough With The Bullshit.

We're so fucked. We really are.

The truth is, we live in a country where nobody gives a shit about black people or poor people unless the tale is told by a white person. Peggy Seltzer got that much right.

We live in a place where there is such an enormous divide between some people and some other people that empowered turds like Michiko Kakutani can read something like "Love and Consequences", something so false, and so obviously false, and believe every word of it. In our country, a privileged moron like Kakutani can actually vouch for the accuracy of the story, and a bunch of other people will believe her, even though Kakutani a) didn't know one fucking thing about the source material, even though she lives and makes her living in a city with a vast minority population living in circumstances quite similar to those exploited by Ms. Seltzer in the writing of her book, and b) doesn't feel compelled to investigate the material, because the actual reality of those living in such conditions is not as valuable to her as the word of an obviously suspect white lady from Oregon.

"Its true because it moves me and she's white." Let's call it what it is. Giving that book the thumbs up without having enough respect for the folks its written about to actually look into it, to actually supplement your utter lack of knowledge by going to the source, is a racist act. Eat it.

Did they care about poor folks? About foster kids? About black people? About anybody? They obviously never cared before, otherwise how do you explain their utter lack of knowledge about these people? Weren't they compelled to care? Shouldn't that be the power of such a narrative, that it inspires you to learn more, to take action, to do SOMETHING? If not, what's so good about it? Why couldn't it work as fiction?

Presumably, when a book like this is published, it is done so under that pretense. "This book inspires, it gives voice to a group of people that are being ignored, it has real value, it should be read by everyone." Didn't Sarah McGrath feel that way? Isn't that why she bought it in the first place? Isn't that why she kept it with her when she came to Riverhead? Isn't that why she developed a relationship with the author? Obviously, Ms. McGrath never knew or cared about poor people, or gang-members, or foster kids before, right? She knew nothing about them! I don't care about orchids, that's why I couldn't tell you a thing about them. If I cared, wouldn't I know? Wouldn't I be able to say, "hey, that's bullshit, man. You're lying about orchids" if someone told me a story that blatantly misrepresented something I cared about? So . . . what, so she didn't care. She was raised by a wealthy, prestigious family, maybe she was too ignorant to know, and therefore was never compelled to care. Didn't this book do that for her? Or was she trying to turn a buck? Did she actually spend three years working on something that didn't even move her, because she thought it would be a nice payday? I submit that she did, otherwise why didn't she want to get to know the environment of the story? Why wasn't she inspired to action?

I'll tell you why: the book is crap. Peggy Seltzer can't write for shit, and her phony, made-for-Lifetime narrative has the depth of the shallow end of a zero-entry swimming pool. Sarah McGrath pushed it forward because it confirmed her preconceived notions of inner-city life. It gave her a heroin, it reaffirmed the assertion that a worthy person can, and will, lift themselves out of the hood, and it allowed her to forward that assertion without shame, because the heroin herself was good-natured enough to disagree. What a woman Peggy is! She's so strong and big-hearted she even apologizes for the gutter trash! It's that kind of proud, determined, loving soul that will make it out of the hood, and as for the ones that don't, well . . .

Same with Kakutani. Don't like it? Explain it another way. I'll wait.

You know what? We all keep doing the thing where we tell ourselves that exploiting crime, poverty, racism, and their many rotten fruits is alright when done in the spirit of giving voice to the ignored. What's wrong with us? Who decided black people don't have a voice to talk about racism? Who decided poor people didn't have a voice to talk about poverty? People, they're talking right now. The problem is, nobody can hear them because YOU'RE SHOUTING OVER THEM. In one of my links, someone makes the point that Ms. Seltzer's "memoir" was important because it was the only one the critic was aware of that was written by a woman. Really? Was research done on that, or is the next part of your sentence "or, at least, a white woman"?

Do you care about their stories, or did you reach that conclusion because it supported what you'd already decided? Here's an idea, the next time some privileged white asshole decides to "lend a voice": shut the hell up, and listen for a change. They're all around you, and they've got plenty to say.

Justice Never Sleeps.

More LA Times stuff. I can't help but feel kinda like the LA Times is missing something in all the commentary. I don't think this has anything to do with reality television. People have been lying liars forever; the difference, I think, is that the publishing industry is caught between the mad rush to get stuff on shelves and the crazy need to fill their own coffers by cutting what the rest of us might consider essential processes like fact-checking anything marketed and sold as non-fiction. Reality TV ain't the culprit: it happens to suck and is contributing to our collective stupidity, but plays no roll in people being lying liars.

Yes. Duh, but yes.

A gold mine of potential targets for the Eye.

My God, Angela, You Are The Jam On Earth's Toast

Here it is: Margaret Seltzer's online journal from 2004. This is, perhaps, the greatest find in the history of finding things on the internet. A+ for Angela!

Also, great GREAT commentary and links here. Well done.

Did Peggy Seltzer plagiarize? Let the discussion begin!!

Also, here's the liar's picture from her high school yearbook. Piling on? Yeah, sure. Fuck it.

I'm Like a Friggin' P.I. or Something, Y'all!

Great stuff here.

This is the real gem. You'll never stop thanking me for this.

The Plot Thickens

As first reported on firesarahmcgrath.blogspot.com, there is already a book entitled "Love and Consequences", and it happens to be about a rough-neck black girl in Philadelphia who escapes to college and has some personal drama. Hmmmmmm . . . .

That's right, I'm breaking this story wide open.

This book, by Nyema Taylor, is fiction. It was based on events from the author's life, but she dramatized them and embellished, and therefore labeled it as fiction. Here's an interview with Ms. Taylor.

I'm not suggesting anything untoward . . . not yet . . . but you have to admit, its pretty interesting, right?

Don't Read Anything Ever Again.

Here it is, a list of stories about a bullshit memoir writer, all written by a bullshit memoir writer. Nice.

Gawker.com was all over that shit.

Michiko Kakutani . . . You Are a Useless Turd Sandwich.

A review of a shitty reviewer.

There's a good chance I will never stop laughing about this. I just spit water all over my computer.

Guys Like Me Don't Cool Down . . . We're Way Too Tough For That.

Ummmm . . . what? No . . . seriously . . . what? No gang memoirs from a woman's perspective? How about Grace After Midnight, by Felicia Pearson? Other than that . . . I'm ok with the article, I guess, except that it adds nothing to the discussion.

Also, good stuff here. The reviews for this book are hilarious.

This is a must read for the Fire Sarah McGrath and Everyone Else crowd. What's going on over there at Riverhead Books?

Also, "Misha: Insulting Holocaust Bullshit" has apparently been made into a "successful film" according to this article. Needless to say, I will do everything in my power to see, and maybe even own, this movie . . . and here it is!!

Wait, wait, one more. The original review from Michiko Kakutani . . . on whom I will now steady my Eye of Sauron.

Oh My God, Which Way Is the Real World?

Read this quick blurb about Misha Defonseca, the fucking liar behind "Misha: A Memoir of the Holocaust Years". Holy hell! Apparently publishers will fall for absolutely ANYTHING. And the bigger the lie, the better! There's absolutely no way in hell any rational, reasonable person would believe even the basic, general facts behind this story of surviving the Holocaust. Jesus Effing Christ.

Also this, which might be the most surreal thing I've ever read. I'm beside myself! I'm literally standing over there, beside myself, as I write this!

AND THIS!! Words can't describe this. Words cannot!

Just unbelievable. This is stupefying.

The Other Side (They Don't Smoke Bigarettes, If You Katch My Drift)

This is really, really funny. No, really.

If You Don't Vomit, You're Neither American Nor Human.

This is chapter one of "Love and Consequences". That anybody bought this crap is beyond belief. And by "bought", I of course mean "believed". I just didn't want to use belief twice in one sentence.

Wait . . . did I say that out loud?

Anyway, you might guffaw at first, but you should be projectile-vomiting within a few paragraphs. If you're not, see a doctor immediately.

Right On, Man! Kick Ass!

Good stuff from the L.A. Times.
Interesting stuff here about narcissism and racism. I totally buy this characterization of publishers and readers, and the writer makes a great point: there are already tons of "memoirs" and true stories about inner-city life, about crime, about exactly the material plundered by Margaret Seltzer, but those stories are written by black people and are found in "African American Studies" or "African American Literature", and therefore no white people in America are interested in reading them. As a former book-store turd, I have witnessed this first-hand.
Another blog.
I couldn't possibly love this more. Everything about it. It's the champ.
Also, this might be the best idea for a website ever. My jaw is HANGING in awe. THE BEST WEBSITE I'VE EVER VISITED. So on the money I'm pretty much beside myself. And I'm white, so I'd know. I'm not sure what it has to do with Sarah McGrath, but someone nominated "Making Shit Up and Publishing It As a Memoir" for this list in the comments section of the above link.

If I Were Hulk Hogan, I'd Be Wagging My Finger Right Now!

It gets worse! Apparently Ms. McGrath actually wants us to fire her! Read this shit!

Also, as evidence that we should fire everyone (and I do mean everyone), I offer the following statement from the publisher:

Riverhead is saddened by this turn of events. We feel bad for our readers, Peggy and her family.

Riverhead relies on authors to tell us the truth. Indeed, an author promises us the truth in their publishing agreement. When it became known that the author was misrepresenting her personal story we took it seriously, moved very quickly and attempted to corroborate new information we were presented with.

Prior to publication the author provided a great deal of evidence to support her story: photographs, letters; parts of Peggy's life story in another published book; Peggy's story had been supported by one of her former professors; Peggy even introduced the agent to people who misrepresented themselves as her foster siblings.

Riverhead is recalling the book as well as cancelling the author's bookstore and media appearances.

Marilyn Ducksworth, SVP, Executive Director of Publicity, Riverhead Books

These motherfuckers can't spell the word "canceling"! Holy hell.

Also, please don't eat tomatoes or drink any milk before listening to this, as I'm told those food-stuffs are extra gross on the rebound, if you get my drift, or the drift of my homies serving life sentences.

And while you're blasting puke, you might take a moment to read the original Home & Whatever interview with Ms. Seltzer. I had a real hard time with this one, like par-boiled pig's feet.

More to come. I'm a man on a mission! I cain't be stopped!

I'm Raging, Man! Really Raging!

I haven't figured the whole thing out yet, but I will. Oh yes, I will. In the meantime, take part in the poll to the left, and read the following:

1. This New York Times article has some stuff.
2. This LA Times article has some stuff, too.
3. This blog is funny.
4. This other blog is funny, too.

The time has come! We must act quickly and decisively to ensure that all people are fired!

Also, feel free to comment. I love that shit.